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Return to Book Page. Preview — Sex Object by Jessica Valenti. Sex Object: Author and Guardian US columnist Jessica Valenti has been leading the women looking for casual sex valenti where are you conversation on gender and politics for over a decade. Now, in a darkly funny and bracing memoir, Valenti explores the toll that sexism takes from the every new black teen pornstars to the existential.
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Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. More filters. Sort order. I hate when people rate books before they have even come out, but to the guy who rated it one star: View all 7 comments. I've had a hard time parsing what I think about this book, because Valenti says so many important things that need to be said; I've wanted to support women looking for casual sex valenti where are you project, and I've wanted to make sure my ultimate ambivalence to it isn't some kind of backwards blaming of her or it for her reporting of the revolting things done and said to.
Large parts of the book made me feel like I needed a shower, or like I'd walked out my front door: In fact, about half way through, I got frustrated and asked a friend why I was reading the book when the experience of reading it in many adult searching love Tallahassee Florida mirrors walking down a city street.
Closing with the litany of horrifying comments she's gotten, so you leave the book having just read them, was especially immersive and familiar.
Eventually, I realized that was my problem with the book: I don't think it's very good as a book. It reads like an ongoing series bloomington adult personals 40 articles that aren't coherent, and aren't driving toward a point; there's not a through-line or thesis.
It's episodic, and all the episodes are the same thing. That makes for powerful reading if you're looking for a catalog of the things women experience daily, but it's not revelatory and I'm not sure of the point if the intended audience is already an educated and aware one.
Horrors, really, no, horrors, Jessica Valenti will not put out for one day | Tim Worstall
Maybe Valenti was excising; maybe the idea is to shock people who DON'T know the world is like this; maybe I'm being too unappreciative or too judgey. I certainly think writing fro book was courageous. I hope people who need to read it. But ultimately, I'm not sure of the point of the book as a book, and I'm not sure that its location in the movement means I should forgive it for yoyo massage coppell tx being good as a book.
View 1 comment. I had a really difficult time with this book.
I can blame some of my reaction to extremely high expectations Other reviewers have been pretty articulate about the flaws of the book. I agree that domen feels extremely haphazard and at the same time oddly flat.
She presents her experiences without any women looking for casual sex valenti where are you of "big picture" element. Unfortunately, in seemingly letting her experiences speak for themselves, they end up feeling instead like an unrelenting litany of misery--of unha Yeesh. Unfortunately, in seemingly letting her experiences speak for themselves, they end up feeling instead like an unrelenting litany of misery--of unhappy exeriences and unhappy choices that, in the end, left me feeling a bit exhausted and even women looking for casual sex valenti where are you.
Part II especially is simply a retelling of her sexual experiences, most of them poor, and exhaustion with what she experiences as an obsession of others with her body including what she says is literal daily fucking tiny asian girls harrassment from the age of, roughly, eleven that drains her of all autonomy resulting in said bad sexual experiences.
Again, I felt a little bit like I do when I read addicts' memoirs: Is looking for a "all these terrible experiences were worth it in the end" a horrible expectation to have of someone who experienced abuse?
Perhaps that's something Valenti is trying to get her audience to think. If so One of the difficulties I had with the reading experience of the book is Valenti herself still has many unresolved--and clearly hostile--feelings about For example, she states toward the end of the book that she suffers from PTSD, but it's unclear, despite the pages prior to that statement, what the trauma is her childbirth experience?
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Her sexual experiences? I do feel like she feels very acted upon throughout her life, yet, at what point does snorting Adderall become something you do, not something that was forced upon you, for example?
As women looking for casual sex valenti where are you example, she states in this book that she was forcefully pushed out of Feministing, which is counter to other public statements she's made about leaving Feministing, which now throws all her earlier statements into manchaug MA sexy women then makes ME question, why bother lying about it at the time?
She's even hostile about her fans, which, again, if you feel you have zero autonomy over your body and feel violated by being on a stage and having an audience, then maybe don't do book tours?
I feel that, after a certain point, you don't get to agree to do things that you KNOW make you suffer and then write about how much you suffer doing them, especially if the things are "speaking engagements" and "autograph sessions. They aren't requirements for sustaining life.
Again, one could argue that her thesis is single men from canada having been treated as merely a body upon which others act has left her, even at her age, married and women looking for casual sex valenti where are you a child, still feeling utterly without any control over her body or her life. I feel like I had to turn myself inside out to create some kind of thesis to her book--out of guilt from not liking it as much as I wanted to--and I don't think women looking for casual sex valenti where are you a good thing.
If you skimmed through it, you might say, "Oh, it's just another one of those self-effacing memoirs of a woman relating all of her sexual encounters. I know "microaggressions" is a loaded word with some people, but there really isn't a word out there that's quite as good at describing those little tiny "tells" of subconscious prejudice.
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Women looking for casual sex valenti where are you OBJECT shows many of the microaggressions women have to deal with on a day to day basis, from whether it's how women get the short end of the stick in most sexual encounters, to date rape, to sexual harassment, to pregnancies from hell. I wives seeking casual sex Fort Collins Colorado the most powerful essays are the ones where Valenti writes about her coming of age, and how young women are often the favorite targets of predatory men.
I also liked the essays about abusive relationships, and how abusive doesn't always necessitate hitting - many of her ex-boyfriends found creative other ways of being abusive. The most relatable chapter for me, however, was the last chapter, in which Valenti provides a collection of emails, tweets, and Facebook messages she's received from men who either insult her looks, threaten her with rape, or otherwise objectify or dehumanize her in an attempt to invalidate both her adult webcam free and her as a person.
It made me think of Buzzfeed's video, What it's like to be a woman online.
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It's a video I often trot out when reading books like these because it underscores valnti women have to deal with every day if they have an active, feminist presence online. But if you can stomach the women looking for casual sex valenti where are you, you should read this book: View all 6 comments.
As a voice, Jessica Valenti is honest, unflinching, and insightful. As a memoir, this suffers flintville TN cheating wives bit from a lack of cohesion and overall story arc.
I almost wish it had been revised into a book of essays, because I think it would have worked better that way. The first section has some candid remarks on everyday sexism, the long-ranging effects of sexual assault, and the conflict between trauma and empowerment. No one wants to hear a woman talking or writing about pain in a way that suggests that it doesn't end. Without women looking for casual sex valenti where are you pat solution, silver lining, or happy ending we're just complainers - downers who don't realize how good we actually have it.
Men's pain and existential angst are the stuff of myth and legends and narratives that shape everything we looing, but women's pain is cassual backdrop - a plot development to push the story wojen for the real protagonists.
Disrupting that story means we're needy or selfish, or worst of all - man-haters - as if after all men have done to women over the ages the mere act of not liking them for it is most offensive. See what I mean? Good stuff. I'd recommend women looking for casual sex valenti where are you the book just for the first section. But then Valenti goes off to talk about all the relationships she had and all the drugs she did.
I think the point she was trying to make was that there was a connection women looking for casual sex valenti where are you feeling devalued in society and acting like she herself was worthless, not caring for herself sexually or physically. I struggled with this section because it just felt like a litany of things she did or things that happened, lacking the commentary that I think would have made it stronger.
The third section is about abortion and having a preemie and post-partum depression, which I failed to connect much to the concept of the book except for that of course getting pregnant involves sex and these things happened to.
She doesn't talk a lot about the pressures sex tips doggy style having babies, which would have fit in nicely here, had they been her experiences and maybe they weren't!
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One chapter women looking for casual sex valenti where are you this last section, called D, about a married casyal sexual advances. She looks at how despite her feminist beliefs, she still finds herself communicating with men first in flirtation, and that she still accepts this expectation from men that "his desires trump my comfort. At the end of the book, Valenti has an appendix of sorts with a selection of comments men have made to her on her blog, to YouTube videos, and to Facebook.Tuscaloosa Al White Pages
Anyone who thinks women exaggerate should at least read these two pages. View all 3 comments. This is my first book by Jessica Valenti, but hopefully the first of many!